Situationships

Not Dating, Just Couple Stuff

Two stick figures cooking dinner together in a cozy kitchen, one wearing the other's hoodie, with a friend asking 'So you two are dating?' and both quickly saying 'No no no'
'We are NOT dating. We just cook dinner together every night and I have a drawer at their place.'
The same two stick figures cuddling on a couch watching a movie, legs intertwined, with one showing the other something on their phone
'We are just really good friends who happen to fall asleep on each other every weekend.'
One stick figure introducing the other to their family at a gathering, with the family looking excited and the introduced person waving awkwardly
'This is my... friend. My very close friend. Who my mom has already saved in her phone as a contact with a heart emoji.'
One stick figure finally asking 'So what are we?' and the other stick figure physically glitching like a broken computer, with an error screen appearing over their face
'What are we?' — the four words that crash the entire operating system.

Two people who do everything couples do — sleep over, cook together, meet each other's friends — but insist they are 'not really dating' whenever someone asks what they are.

Explanation

This cartoon captures the central contradiction of a situationship: all the behaviors of a relationship with none of the acknowledgment. The refusal to label it is not casual — it is strategic. By keeping things undefined, one or both people maintain an escape hatch that protects them from the vulnerability of commitment. The person who avoids the label often has avoidant attachment patterns — closeness feels threatening, so they keep the relationship in a permanent maybe. The person who accepts the ambiguity often has anxious attachment or low self-worth — they believe that asking for clarity will scare the other person away, so they settle for proximity without security. The result is an emotional limbo where both people are investing real feelings into something that officially does not exist.

Key Takeaway

If it looks like a relationship and feels like a relationship but nobody is allowed to call it one — that is not casual. That is avoidance wearing a casual mask.

A Better Approach
A stick figure writing down what they actually want from this person on a piece of paper, being honest with themselves
Before you ask them what this is, ask yourself what you actually want it to be.
A stick figure saying 'I need clarity' calmly, while the other person looks uncomfortable but is still listening
Asking for clarity is not clingy. It is self-respect with a voice.
A stick figure realizing that avoiding the conversation does not protect them — it just delays the pain
The ambiguity is not protecting you. It is just making the eventual hurt worse.
A stick figure walking toward a door marked 'Defined' and leaving behind a foggy room marked 'Maybe'
You deserve someone who is proud to call it what it is.

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