Fairy-Tale Expectations

The Prince Charming Audition

A stick figure sits behind a casting table labeled 'The Perfect Partner Auditions.' A long line of hopeful stick figures stretches out the door. The director holds a script titled 'The Fairy Tale' and checks each candidate against impossible criteria
Welcome to the audition. The role: Prince Charming. The script: perfection. The odds: zero.
Candidate after candidate is rejected. One is stamped 'Too boring -- did not plan a surprise date.' Another: 'Did not read my mind.' Another: 'Texted back in 20 minutes instead of 5.' The director looks exasperated by the poor talent
Too boring. Did not read your mind. Texted back too slow. Next. Next. Next.
A genuinely kind person stands at the audition table, offering real things -- honesty, consistency, effort. The director squints at the script and says 'But where is the grand gesture?' The kind person looks deflated
A real person shows up with real things to offer. But they did not bring a glass slipper.
The audition room is empty. Everyone has been rejected. The director sits alone with the script, thinking 'No one is good enough.' The script glows faintly -- it was never written for a real human
Everyone is gone. The script remains. It was never written for a human -- and that is why no one could perform it.

A person treats dating like a casting call for Prince Charming or Princess Perfect, where every real human fails the audition because the role was written by a fairy tale.

Explanation

You are not dating. You are holding auditions. Every person who shows up is measured against a script they have never read -- a script assembled from Disney movies, romantic comedies, Instagram couple goals, and the fantasy version of love you built as a child. The script requires mind-reading, grand gestures, effortless chemistry, and a partner who somehow makes you feel whole without you having to do any of the emotional work. Nobody passes the audition, and you conclude the problem is the talent pool. Research by Bjarne Holmes on romantic media exposure shows that people who consume idealized portrayals of romance are significantly more likely to believe that disagreement signals incompatibility, that sex should be perfect without communication, and that a partner should instinctively know what you need. These are not just unrealistic expectations -- they are relationship-destroying beliefs dressed up as standards. The prince-princess audition is gendered but not gender-exclusive. Women may expect a man who plans elaborate dates, always initiates, and provides emotional security without requiring any in return. Men may expect a woman who is endlessly agreeable, physically perfect, and manages the relationship's emotional labor invisibly. Both versions demand a performance from a partner that no human can sustain. The audition framework protects you from vulnerability. If no one can pass the test, you never have to risk being known, disappointed, or imperfect yourself. The script is not a standard -- it is a shield. Real love begins when you crumple it up and meet the actual person standing in front of you.

Key Takeaway

If every person fails your audition, the problem is not the talent. It is the script -- and you wrote it from a story that was never real.

A Better Approach
A stick figure reading the fairy-tale script and realizing it was written by a child who had never been in a real relationship. The handwriting is literally a child's
Read the script you are holding. Who wrote it? A child. A movie. A fantasy. Not experience.
A stick figure crumpling the script and sitting across from a real person. No table. No clipboard. Just two people seeing each other
Crumple the script. Sit across from the real person. See who they actually are.
A stick figure replacing 'reads my mind' with 'asks how I am,' and 'grand gesture' with 'shows up consistently.' The new list is shorter but real
Replace the fantasy checklist with real qualities: shows up, listens, tries, stays.
Two stick figures on an imperfect date -- slightly awkward, slightly messy, but genuinely present. No script, no audition. Just two humans figuring it out
The best love stories are not scripted. They are awkward, imperfect, and completely real.

Related Cartoons